Drinking with the boss

I heard something ‘revelationary’ yesterday, which was also so damn obvious I can't believe it's taken me almost 40 years to figure it out. Share this with other women.

Getting promoted in your 20s - in the lower ranks - is almost always about hard work and talent. Getting promoted in your early 30s - mid level - is mainly about hard work and talent. Getting promoted in your late 30s and beyond - upper ranks - is mostly about your boss feeling you are trustworthy, loyal and decent enough for them to go out on a limb for. By then, performance takes second place to 'social bonds with colleagues' in determining success.

So we need to stop working late on our own, assuming it will be noticed while our male colleagues go to the pub with the senior men in the company. And when you do start pub-going, don't just drink with mentors. Caring people are overrated. You need sponsors who'll put you forward for promotion. And those sponsors need to feel there's something in it for them. You'll jump when they need a jumper, for example.

Two other quick points on this; if you're looking for sponsors don't just look at people who encapsulate everything you want to be. Be practical. Target people who you respect enough to be loyal and - most importantly - whose position in the company makes them able to advance your career. Women can be too idealistic about this process.

Once you're in those upper ranks, motivate your staff to sponsor others by reminding them they'll execute better, especially in tough times, if there are people right across the company who owe them one. I've heard (second hand) that one of today's top CEOs refers to it as having 'deep pockets’ filled with people who'd work hard for you.

I got all this from a wonderful author and researcher called Sylvia Ann Hewlett, who I spent time with at the Women's Forum in Deauville this week. I was there with CNBC. We'd developed a partnership with the forum and PwC to survey delegates and the public on what women's empowerment will mean for men. It was fascinating. See WomenInBusiness.CNBC.com or PwC.com/women and read more about it in my next blog.

The Code

I thought I'd publish this poem I wrote about a year and a half ago. I once wrote poems all the time then got busy with work and let this indulgent passion slide. It's such a wonderful feeling letting those words pour out. I think I'll let myself indulge a little more frequently again.

Anyway... 'The Code' (which I follow religiously)

To find success defined internally

See no weakness, just see tendency

Be fabulous, live with compassion,

Maybe they’re scared or in a place they shouldn’t be

Let live, move fast and the Queen be

Enjoy dancing with your boundaries

Pace, sweat twice and hibernate

Because controlling is strong but it’s not easy

Respect the many seeds of peace, passion and beauty

Indulge in curiosities and draw strength from femininity

Find significance showing leadership is justice by another name

Immorality is subjective but fear consequences, death and pain

Work to win and master naked words with pragmatic creativity

Fuel your fires, feed your needs and find power in authenticity

lead others by conceding to the mission, not the ego but

be contained, listen to influence and when it’s no

Distract your mind and then let go

others’ worlds aren’t yours to own

your own destiny’s only half-known

Control the other by amplifying the easy

Find answers from silence and history

Observe the obvious and they’ll be shown

When you see them, build your code

Recall what you know

Evolve as you go

Make truth of

your Gaudeo

(Thanks to 'joy of life blogger' for the photo)

A Year Long Nap

I'm ashamed of my year long nap in the blogosphere. I've been 'living the challenge'. I had a baby last July, then bought a house, moved from Singapore to London, returned to work after three months and tried to establish new routines that would allow me to have personal time again. That last piece has taken ten months but I'm here now, and to be honest having to postpone my extra curricular labours of love was an acceptable short-term compromise in return for a healthy, happy, loved little son and a still-on-track career. But now I'm back (as in, I'm getting enough sleep to emerge from survival mode)! And I have a new mission; to quantify the power of the secret adviser (that is, the woman who shares a big man's pillow). I'm hoping this will help illustrate the useful role more women could play in formal decision-making settings too. It feels like a fun way to make a point. If you have ideas on this subject please let me know. I'll chart my progress here. The project starts now.

Replacing CVs with Online Profiles

A friend told me last week that the World Economic Forum is advertising certain jobs by inviting names only - i.e. no cover letter or CV - on the basis that your contribution to society should be sufficiently impactful for them to learn about you from the cloud. (I haven't verified this but she's a reliable source.) Fantastic idea but bad news for late adopters and those too busy or humble to manage their image online. It gave me a wake-up call. Since this conversation I've blogged, tweeted, googled myself, had two meetings on flippin' feminism, attended the e-G8 forum in Paris, begun research for a new personal content project and created very cool photo and video collections on Phanfare and YouTube.

The Gender Agenda - Why Sex Matters!

It happened! The first 'Flipping Feminism' event took place in Davos at the World Economic Forum - a CNBC televised debate asking 'Why Sex Matters' to engage men (as well as women, but that's easier) on gender equality in the corporate world.

Our panel was fantastic. Sir Martin Sorrell, Carlos Ghosn and Muhtar Kent gave passionate speeches. But it was the women who got me really excited because it's such a rare treat to meet female global business leaders (because there are so few of them)! Orit Gadiesh, the Bain and Co Chairwoman, was laser sharp with real X-Factor. Arianna Huffington was smart, humorous, kind and a very classy lady. And Sheryl Sandberg instantly became my hero. Google her and you'll see why. She's truly remarkable yet still manages to be a warm, humble and generous person who clearly does all she can to support other women.

Take a look at the video if you have time http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nw0vaRiWIp0
and send me your critique or just check out what others have said following a New York Times write-up: http://dealbook.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/01/30/tale-of-woman-sleep-deprivation-and-financial-meltdown/

Women of Wall Street: Diversity of Thought

If you happen to be in New York City this Christmas, the Women of Wall Street exhibition at the Museum of American Finance is a must see! From Abigail Adams to Muriel Sievert, it showcases how the inclusion of women has changed the financial services industry. To give you a sense of perspective of how far we've come, here's a favorite quote from a contemporary woman of wall street. (Images from American Museum of Wall Street):

“...it’s not a diversity of gender or color that’s needed, but really a diversity of thought. The diversity of experiences comes from being female as opposed to male or coming from a different country...”– Sallie Krawcheck, Former CEO and Chairman, Citi Global Wealth Management

Ross Westgate to host The Gender Agenda Davos Debate

Ross Westgate, CNBC's "Worldwide Exchange" anchor, is to host the Gender Agenda Debate show at the World Economic Forum in Davos. With his ll years experience in financial broadcasting, he also co-hosts Strictly Money, CNBC's new UK business and money programme and previously worked as a stockbroker in the City of London.